Heartbreaking Beauty

Beauty can be heartbreaking
A drowning and an awakening
Pleasure and pain
are basically the same
Nothing is quite like
feeling them at the same time

Moments like these
leave me gasping for air
But I never stopped breathing
I can’t tell if I’m still in my body
or if I just starting leaving
I don’t know
what on earth is a boundary
Everything bleeds
and blends into
a fluid One
I am all of it
Together and completely undone

What is there to fear?
Why the anxiety?
It’s dancing with ecstacy…
Strange partners,
maybe.
But it’s
Death and Life
Life from Death
Again,
it’s all the same.
Core essence,
different names.

It used to scare me
I still feel those slivers tickle my soul
Sometimes it excites me
and makes my engine start to roar

Everything is nothing
and nothing is everything
Welcome to the paradox of existence
You won’t ever figure it out
despite your ego’s constant pining

Oh
Oh oh
When there are no real words
You just go
Oh
Oh oh
Sing loud
Sing out, oh soul

This is the mad dance
The one I’ve long awaited
The one that goes in the belly
that right now manifests as anxiety
I never knew
what I was writing about
I just wanted to go low
Oh oh
Go low
Oh
Oh.

What’s up goes down
and eventually goes back up
I can drop inside
and burst forth new life
Streching, reaching up to the skies
The stars will feed me,
I wrote
But the ground beneath me
It knows
all secrets are eventually exposed
Root in first
and then let yourself grow
Stretch me from here to heaven
I am the vine,
the ladder
for all sorts of different travelers
And sometimes it makes me sad
Who wants to be a stepping stone?

I feel others’ feet upon my soul
of past present and future
I’m both a map pointing the way
and a record of everywhere we’ve been
It’s all right here
inside of me
All the bliss and all the pain
swirling together
in the mad dance
of heartbreaking beauty
that takes my breath away.