just like old times

this friend of mine,
i’m pretty sure,
has always been my enemy.

i warded him off for quite a while
but ohhh
he’s like gravity,

pulling me pulling me
intoxication
to leave me drunk and slobbering.

such a sick friend.

i tell him to leave
and he comes back again
foolish me
i let him in again.

freedom is never free,
it’s expensive indeed.

he tells me i love him
that the past year was a lapse in memory
that i’d forgotten him
and now i need him
to feed my creativity
because i’m nothing without him-

i beg to differ!
i felt much better
when i threw him to the breeze!

but he crawls back
under the crack
between the door
and my dirty floor

i’ve felt better.
i’ve felt better.

he makes me sick
he is sick
he is a sickness i hate
but a sickness i crave
a sickness i hate to crave
his name
oh his ugly name

Hopelessness,

i’ll kill you
with a better Friend, i’ll kill you.

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Only You

For fifteen years and two months of life
I was hiding from your light
I was always running away
But I was so desperate to be saved
From myself and my tortured mind
and the mask I tried to hide behind
I was in constant search of love
But nothing was ever good enough

Ooo, you stepped into the room
Ooo, it was only you

You filled the empty spaces
with the light of your love
You peeled back the layers of my heart
and quietly sang away the dark

Ooo, you stepped into the room
Ooo, it was only you
Ooo, you stepped into my life
Ooo, you turned on the light

It was only,
It was only you
that saved me
It was only
It was only you
that set me free
It was only
It was only you

What Remains

I don’t want my life to depend on this
Vulgar pleasantries, supposed happiness
Can’t I be content with just the two of us?

I don’t want my life to revolve around
what I continually lost, what I never found
I cannot be content with all the frills and the fuss

Because when I walk away
When the party lights fade
The emptiness remains
And I’m left wondering what’s real

All the shiny things hold my attention
while you wait starved for my affection
Can I not see your eyes contain all beauty?

Still I drive at night restless with my days
Allowing myself to suffocate in emotions haze
How long, oh Love, will you watch and wait for me?

Because when I walk away
When the world around me fades
The emptiness remains
And I’m left wondering what’s real
Because when I walk away
And the people always change
The desperation remains
And I’m left wondering what’s real

They tell me the pain will drive me closer to you
But if I do not show up at your welcome door
just what will you do?
Will you chase me down?
Will you chase me down?

Because when I walk away
When the prayers and worship fade
The questions remain
And I need you to be real
Because when I walk away
When the strength within me fades
The desperation remains
And I need you, still more

Lonely Doesn’t Care Who You Are

You can’t bribe him or buy him off
You can’t drown him or starve him out
You cannot medicate him away
All your attempts at eviction just convince him to stay

Lonely doesn’t care who you are

It doesn’t matter where you come from
It matters even less where you think you’re going
He can, and he will, find you anywhere
and redirect your course for the middle of nowhere

Lonely doesn’t care who you are
He’ll walk right in uninvited
and make himself at home in your heart
Whether rich or poor
Whether healthy or sore
If you play by all the rules
Or break them all like a fool
Lonely doesn’t care who you are

We’re all the same
Same needs
Same desires
Same pain
The one thing that divides us
Is the one thing that unites us
Because lonely doesn’t care who you are

Lonely doesn’t care who you are
He’ll walk right in uninvited
and make himself at home in your heart
Whether rich or poor
Whether healthy or sore
If you play by all the rules
Or break them all like a fool
Lonely doesn’t care who you are

Lonely doesn’t care
Lonely doesn’t care
Lonely doesn’t care who you are